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Morbius (2022) 🗑

Morbius is morbidly bad and the plug should have been pulled on the operating table. Time of death: 12:00 am April 1st, 2022. Side effects of consuming Morbius may or may not include: boredom, awkward chuckles, an overall bad time


Is that enough medical jokes? Hmm… may need a second opinion.


What did you think of the movie, Bones?

> He's Dead, Jim.


SPOILERS AHEAD (idk if they’ll be major or minor, this is an experimental treatment after all)


Morbius is dreadful. At almost every cinematic level. No acting performances to write home about, awful visual effects, poor and sometimes bizarre pacing. Just a lot of fundamental mistakes


A Nobel-prize winning medical doctor called it “bat radar” instead of sonar and I can’t let that go. We have a word for that…


As bad as I thought Leto looked as a Vampire, Matt Smith’s vampire somehow looked worse.

If I could find a gif of his vampire form, I would. Search Morbius in the gifs. It’s… a thing.


MAJOR SPOILERS AHEAD


The movie does a very poor job of getting us invested in these characters. And I think they know it… A father figure(ish? Sort of) dies. Then no less than 60 seconds later the love interest is in mortal danger. And then dies. I felt nothing


The post credits make no sense… and I don’t feel bad saying this because it’s in the trailer… but any involvement of Michael Keaton in a Sony verse is a waste of his tremendous talent. Although I desperately hope that he and Tom Hardy work together


Morbius is dreadful. And it’s not even fun-bad. Fun-bad I can work with. This was just bad bad. I was bored. Unimpressed and uninspired.


To finish my review on one last pun… Morbius sucks.


Get it? Cuz he’s a vampire?

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